


Mirrored Reflection

by Celi1208



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Heartache, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27072643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celi1208/pseuds/Celi1208
Summary: This is my first multi-chaptered story involving Juice and Celi. It starts right about season four when his extended storyline started. What a long, strange trip its been.
Relationships: Juice Ortiz/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 3





	1. Something to Talk About

Chapter One

Celi thought it odd; Juice's bike was in the driveway but not a single light was on. It was 10 p.m. Samcro hadn't  
seen him since the sheriffs picked him up earlier that day. She heard them calling his cell since then but he never  
picked up. He always showed up to give her a ride to his house, though she had yet to move in. "Juice?", she called -  
suddenly feeling stupid. If an intruder were hiding, he'd know she was there now. Kitchen and living room were dark.  
She thought maybe he was in the bathroom taking a shower when she saw a sliver of faint light from the bedroom.  
Part of her was terrified of what she'd find. Cautiously opening the door, she found him sitting on the side of  
his bed with a candle on the nightstand. Tears were in his eyes and a brown file folder was in his hands. 

She ran to her old man, kneeling in front of him. "Juice, what is it? What's wrong?"

Though the closet was in front of him, his eyes were a million miles away. "I got brought in to Roosevelt's office today...."  
she held his arms at the sides, his skin was ice cold as  
she fought off goosebumps "....he's threatening me with some intel that he'll tell the club if I don't do what  
he wants." She knew enough not to ask what it was.

"Whatever it is, tell them. Then the Sheriff won't have no leverage on you."

He stood up suddenly, obviously scared "I can't! Because he's right! They'll kick me out of Samcro and black out the ink!"

He paced around the bed in L formation like a lost creature. Continuing on this topic would only send him over the edge.  
"Don't listen to him, you know damn well he don't know shit about the Sons." He kept running his left hand down his mohawk.  
"He knows enough, Celi. My dad is Black."

Her eyes widened in shock. That he was half Black didn't matter to her. But by telling her, he implicated her as well. She had to  
think fast. She heard vaguely of the old by-laws,mainly from Piney when he'd get really drunk. Drinking Patron at nine o'clock  
in the morning would do that. "Okay Juicey. We'll leave Charming together."  
He looked at her questioningly "You'd do that? After all you did to be accepted? Run away with me?"

She held his face in her hands, "Yes, baby. I would. I just have to make a stop at TM."

"What for?"

"To pick up my pay for last week."

"Then we'll leave?"

"Yes, Juicey. We'll leave."


	2. I Can't Stand The Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is somewhat AU. Some people that died are still alive, others aren't. Forgive me if the chapters are kinda short. This, to date will be the longest piece I've written about Juice and Celi. I have 8 Chapters planned so far. Maybe once those are done, the ending will come to me.

It was a cloudy morning when Juice and Celi rolled onto the TM lot. Two duffel bags were packed the night before and waiting at the house. A couple of the mechanics were in the garage, while Juice sat at one of the outdoor tables. Celi walked into the empty office, glad that Gemma hadn't made it in yet. It would've made what she had to do much more difficult. The easy part though, was working all over TM. As she was a bartender/cook/admin assistant. The room stilled smell of stale cigar smoke as she  
opened the safe. Pushing the stacks of currency aside, she pulled out a silver .22 pistol.

Walking back to Juice, she said "Let's go in for an hour or so. As to not look suspicious." He thought about it for a second and said "Yeah, you're right. Okay." So they went in, she to the bar, him by the pool table with Tig and Chibs. Chibs kept glancing at him,  
sensing some tension, "Wat's da matter, Juicey Boy?" He ran his hand over the mohawk again, "I didn't get much sleep last night." Which was the truth. Looking over to Celi at the bar, Tig countered "Yeah, if I had her I wouldn't get much sleep either."  
Juice sprang to his feet in front of him "Shut up! That's my old lady!" He got too angry,  
too fast. Which was so unlike him. Chibs got between them, facing Tig "Let it go. She  
didn't pick you. Move on." Then he turned around to Juice, "You know how he is, pretty much no filter. At least he wasn't vulgar about it."

Just then, Celi brought them over three beers. After handing Juice his, she pulls him to the side. "Will you show me the inside of Church? I've always wanted to see it."

"And then we can go?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes."

He took a deep breath and looked around. Jax hadn't shown up yet. "Okay."

The inside felt weighted with mystery and importance. Once those heavy leather doors  
swung in, the mood of the men was always serious, somber. It was like Time itself had a seat at the table as well. Though time always moved, it seemed like it didn't seem like it inside in there. But when the doors swung out, the mood was always light and jovial. Like a weight (or several) had been lifted from their shoulders. Issues resolved, problems  
solved. The Reaper table majestic and the true centerpiece of the room. Though she didn't really care for the reaper, having immersed herself with Catholic culture and a fear of El Santo Muerte, she was slowly getting over it. She touched all the chairs  
going to the left side of the room, while he went to the right. When she got to Jax's chair at the head of the table, she pulled out the gun from behind. He turned around and stared at her.

"Celi! What the hell are you doing?!"

With tears in her eyes, she said "Saving you." And fired two shots.


	3. Turn You Inside Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once on the road, there's no turning back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing stories is a new experience for me. Let me know what you think. Is it good? Is it crap? There are so many in my head, I have to get them written down to clear up the space they take up.

The door bursts open at the sound of the gunshots. Juice is still standing, staring at the two holes in the floor.  
Jax was the first one in, gun drawn. Followed by Chibs, Tig, Bobby and Piney. She places the gun on the  
redwood table and keeps her hands in the air. "What's going on, Celi?", Jax asked her. Exasperated, yet  
knowing how she was, wouldn't do anything drastic unless she had a good reason. He didn't ask Juice because  
by the looks of him, he wouldn't (or couldn't) give a level-headed answer. She would. She stared at the floor,  
out of her element. Afraid that if she looked at Juice, she'd lie for him, blowing everything she'd done to shit.

"Juice has something to tell you. I'll wait outside."

Leaving the gun on the table, she moved toward the doors. Chibs said to Rat "Sit wit 'er." Rat followed her out.  
They took their seats around the table, Juice last. He kept looking down at his hands, Piney adjusted his oxygen,  
Bobby and Chibs looked at him questioningly. He didn't see it. Leaning back in his chair at the head of the table,  
Jax said "What is it?" His voice was disturbingly quiet, yet no one said anything as they saw how much anguish he  
was in. "Sheriff Roosevelt had me brought in on some bullshit charge. But instead of the cell, they took me to  
his office. He told me he had some intel that he was going to use if I didn't do what he wanted. "What's the intel?",  
Bobby asked. Juice took a deep breath as if his whole world was coming to an end, "My Dad's black."

Jax had a confused look on his face, "So?"

Juice was still fearful "The rules! No Blacks allowed!" He was sure this was the part where they'd pull his patch,  
as if that was the one thing they all suddenly forgot. He was on the verge of tears. Jax said "That rule is from  
another time. It doesn't apply now. And even if it did, it wouldn't matter. Because of your expertise."  
Chibs piped up from across the table "Truth is Juicey, half of us don't know who are fathers are."

"I am?" Juice asked, surprised.

"A little", Tig said. "None of us want to be bothered with that computer shit." The small amount of laughter  
broke the tension in the room somewhat. Opie said, "And you told her?"  
Juice looked sheepishly at the table "Yeah, it sort of slipped out."  
Tig said "Does that happen to you often? Shit slipping out?"  
"Shut up."

"Enough." Jax said. Motioning to Opie, "Get Rat to bring her in."

They both came in, Rat stood on the opposite side of the room while she stood in front of the closed door,  
looking down at her arms as hands held elbows. "Come here", Jax said.  
She walked toward him, her breathing trying to remain calm. Her steps echoing in her head.  
They all looked at her wondrously, as this was the first time they've ever seen her actually  
afraid. All except Juice. And she couldn't bring herself to look at him.  
She inhaled sharply when Jax held her hands. 

"Relax, darling. He told us." She looked down as his hands holding hers. She had to be sure,

"Can I ask what he told you exactly?" 

"That his Papi is "negro"," Tig said as he glanced at Juice with a smirk.

She knew he was probably pissed at her, beyond measure. Jax tilted her chin so she'd look  
at him, "You did good, Celi. It's all straightened out. I understand what you did was for the  
good of Samcro. There'll be no repercussions. Not for him or for you."

She nodded, appearing a little relieved but not completely.  
He patted her hands once more, "You can go back out now."  
And she left, closing the door behind her.

She went back out into the boisterous clubhouse activity,  
yet it's as if everything were muted. The loud music,  
the shouting, the laughter were all a mere whisper to her over the  
thunder of her heartbeat. That now functioned with a rhythm of  
dread of wondering what he'd do. She was right, they wouldn't  
kick him out. 

After a while, the church doors opened and they all came filing  
out, talking and laughing and as always, thirsty. Juice strode  
past her and exited. And it hurt like fuck that he didn't even look  
at her, like she wasn't even there. When she got to the door,  
she could just make out his bike flying past the front gate.


	4. Road To Nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're On The Road to Nowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've come to the part I've dreaded since this story came to me. But I have to write it. I realized this is the first time ever writing Juice in an angry light. I'm usually lovey dovey. But I like a writing challenge and when this is over, I believe I will have learned more about Celi, Juice and myself as well.

After he left, Celi went home, though it was too far to walk. She wanted to just listen to the noises of the outdoors so she wouldn't have to focus  
on her own feelings. But it was a small town, nothing like Chicago where it was always noisy. One of the things she liked about Charming when she  
first got here was the stillness. Now, she couldn't stand it. She spent the night reluctantly dozing off in bouts of uneasy slumber. Any noise, she  
imagined was he bike pulling up. But it didn't.

The next morning, she didn't go to work, just wanting some time alone. So she went grocery shopping and got her nails done in a glitter gold to  
cheer herself up. She's a sucker for glitter polish, choosing it every time.

Coming back to the house, she entered through the kitchen and put away the groceries. Walks into the living room to find him on the sofa, looking  
at her. Her mouth was open, but nothing came out.

His voiced was laced with sarcasm, "Now that's something that truly rare. You, having nothing to say."

She went to the chair next to the off white sofa, looking at the minor scrapes on his arms. "What happened?"

He looked away from her, "What do you care? To hell with it, I had a minor accident. My bike is being fixed at TM."  
His words came out in a blur "Why the fuck did you lie to me?"

"I had to Juicey, I -"

He leaned forward with steely determination on his face, "Keep my name out of your mouth."

She spoke softer, "I had to. The way you reacted to my suggestion, I knew you wouldn't tell them on your own."

"Maybe I didn't want to. But you pulling the gun forced everything. How could I ever trust you or love you after that?!"

The way his skin glowed in anger reminded her of all the times they made love on the sofa where he sat. But now that seemed like a million  
years ago. She was hurt that he'd think that, but she had to keep her resolve. "Let's say we did leave Samcro. 1. You'd miss them too much,  
there's no "you" without "them". 2. We'd be running for the rest of our lives. 3. There's just no fucking place to go! There are charters and/or  
allies everywhere! I didn't leave Chicago to spend the rest of my life running!"

He glared at her angrily, "I made a choice and you seemingly agreed to it. And your actions took that choice away from me. I'll never forgive  
you for that. He shook his head, "You don't love me. You love Samcro..." His next line froze her "....maybe you should go be a Croweater  
instead."

She stood up with a hurt expression in her eyes, her mouth agape. "I can't believe you're saying this to me. You can't mean that." She tries  
to hug him, he pushes her away, yelling "Don't touch me!" He stood facing her, a malice in his face she'd never seen before. Maybe because  
until now it was never directed at her. And because she told him everything of her life before, he knew exactly what to say to hurt her. It took  
everything she had to keep from getting sick when he smiled at her and said, "But wait, there's more. You DESERVED your ex cheating on you.  
I wish I never met you that night at the taco truck. You should've left with him when he came into town."

She was falling into a million pieces, that old feeling of being hollow inside returning. But she pushed it aside. She had to try one last time to get through to him,  
"Can't you see? What I did, I did it for you! If you loved me, you wouldn't have told me! And by the way, that means involve!"

There was a sudden quiet in his voice, "Are you calling me stupid?"  
Her voice took on the same edge of hostility as his "A smart person wouldn't have to ask."

He pushes her back down on the sofa, raising a hand in the air. She glared up at him defiantly with no fear in her eyes. He moves his forefinger from  
side to side, as if telling her to wait because he came up with a better idea. He strides toward the fridge. It had a lot of meal prep containers  
she made for all of Samcro who'd stop by instead of getting greasy takeout. He knew she took a lot of pride in the meals she made and all the  
guys loved her cooking. Lids and colors flew everywhere, red of tomato sauce, white of mashed potatoes, brown of pot roast. She yelled at him  
from behind, trying to grab his arms "Stop it, stop it!". He pushed her again, this time leaning up against the kitchen table. She stormed to the  
living room. As he heard a noise, he went to see what it was. Celi was trashing his video console and games. Before he could run toward her  
they both heard a "whoop whoop" of a police car. Unser, Eglee and another cop could be seen through the living room window. He said, "Juice! Open up!"  
After he did, Unser looked at them, saying "We got a disturbance call from your neighbors. They said it sounded like you were trying to kill each other."  
Celi scoffed, "No worries, Chief. It was just him being stupid." At which point he tried to lunge at her but the other two officers held him back.  
Unser told them, "Let them cool off in the station house, keep a cell between them.


	5. Motherless Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happens that neither Juice or Celi expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The darkest road I've ever traveled on. But there will be joy at the end of this long horizon.

The pale yellow color, though filled with bars had a calming effect on her. As afternoon became night, it got quieter upstairs.   
The day shift leaving so the night shift could take over. Neither Juice nor Celi said anything to each other. They each sat in the  
farthest corners of their cells. She couldn't help but to remember her last time in jail (Jailhouse Moment).

The moonlight strained through the barred windows, another night she really couldn't sleep. The words played themselves over  
and over. She felt what she did before when her ex showed up (Three Part Juice Fanfic). And it took her back to when she wasn't  
Celi. She was her prior self: unsure, vulnerable. What her spouse liked to refer to her as "weak" and "useless". Though the marriage   
lasted 25 years, love only last two or three. He was controlling and verbally abusive. When she got pregnant with their first child,  
she had to beg and plead permission to attend a baby shower her friends had given her! 

When her daughter was about two months old, Celi heard him on the phone. Flirting with someone he said was only his "friend".

After she had her second daughter, they suddenly moved to another state because he cheated on her with a neighbor and the  
HUSBAND found out. But he couldn't find work so they moved back. 

And she stayed. Because she believed everything he said about her. To the point where she doubted herself at every turn, self-  
esteem to the point of non-existence. But everyone, no matter how nice or good they are, have a breaking point. Hers came   
when, one day, he started walking around with a picture of a little girl that wasn't one of their daughters. The daughter of a   
female "friend" that he lent money or the car to occasionally. Said some bullshit story about how the friend was in an accident  
(which he ran to go help her, of course) and she gave him the picture so he could pick the kid up from daycare.

After she confronted him, her blood boiling, he called the woman on speakerphone. Who denied that the child was his.   
Nevertheless, she said she wanted a DNA test. Just to be sure. He hemmed and hawed, Asking what was the point if  
she already said it wasn't his. As he spoke too fast and started to sweat. That's when she knew. If the kid wasn't his, he  
would've said "Okay". She left the next day.

The pain was suffocating, the abusive words interchanged between her ex and Juice's faces. She needed to replace it,  
even if it was with another. 

Thud......thud.......thud.

Juice stood up, trying to squint through the darkness, "Celi?"

Thud.....thud......she was taking steps forward and banging backwards into the bars.

"Celi, stop it! Please stop!"

But she didn't acknowledge him. She only recognized the pain and her need to escape from it. She rammed her head harder standing   
still. Bam......bam......bam.

"Help! Help! Somebody!" Juice yelled at the top of his lungs, hoping they'd stop whatever dumb thing they were doing to make it   
in time. "Please stop, Celi! I'm sorry! I should'nt have been an asshole! I love you, stop it please!"

She couldn't hear him anymore. As she slid down, the walls grew darker. She felt the warmth of her blood seeping behind her and  
it pleased her. Though she silently wondered why love couldn't always feel like that. Heat and darkness closed her in as footsteps  
entered the hall.


	6. God's Gonna Cut You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every action has a reaction. Resulting in it's own aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll get better, but right now I'm using all the tissues.

Hale and Eglee come downstairs to see Celi unconscious on the floor and blood around her head. Juice stood facing her, two cells away, grabbing the bars and crying silently. Hale asked "What the hell happened?"

Juice could barely get the words out "She kept banging her head against the bars."

Hale called an ambulance and Samcro.

Jax, Tig and Bobby got down there just as the paramedics drive her off to St. Thomas.  
Jax slowly inhales at the sight of her blood on the floor,

"Juice, what happened?"

He told them what he saw, Bobby looked bewildered, "Why were you two here anyway?"

"We had a fight. After church, I left because I was pissed she pulled a gun on me and lied to me. I went riding. Came back the next day."

Tig was infuriated, "You fucking piece of shit! You fought with her?! Seriously? What you should've been doing was fucking her brains out in gratitude!"

Bobby asked, "That's why Unser brought you two here? It was that bad?"

Juice looked at Tig, almost afraid to continue. "Yeah, we were yelling, screaming and throwing shit. I tossed all the dinners she made for you guys and  
she destroyed my game unit."

Jax held his hands together in front of his mouth. Bobby grabbed the bars, deep in thought. Tig muttered 'motherfucker' while glaring  
at Juice. Jax said, During the fight, what did you say?"

Juice's eyes filled with tears again, he lost count how many times that has happened. "That she deserved her ex cheating on her, that  
she should be a croweater and I wished I never met her." Jax had to stop Tig from reaching through the bars to grab him.

"Goddamn you! Son of a bitch!"

Jax looked at him in the cell and said "Jesus Christ...." He made an effort to control what he said next. "....she really did save you. If you  
gave up Samcro for one thing, Potter would've wanted something else, then something after that. It would've never ended. Though her method  
was drastic, you telling us the secret took away any leverage Roosevelt had. I almost was about to put Tig in there with you, but we're  
gonna see about Celi instead."

Tig stared at him before turning to leave, "This ain't over."

Bobby said "We'll keep you posted."

********************************************************************

They found Tara at St. Thomas. Tara had a shocked look on her face. "She has a Linear Skull Fracture. A break in the bone, it doesn't move  
so that's a good thing. She also has a substantial amount of blood loss due to a severely low hemoglobin. They're still working on her.  
(She lowered her voice) Was she in an accident?"

Jax took a deep breath, "Self-inflicted."

Tara paled a little, "That doesn't sound like something she'd do."

"That's what I said. I'll fill you in later but I have to go do something first."

"Yeah, sure", she said as she stopped to catch her breath and make some sense out of it all.

Jax said to Bobby, "Get the prospects to clean up Juice's place and pack a bag for Celi. I don't see her immediately wanting to go back there.

"Done."

Tig approaches Jax, "If you don't need me, I'd like to stay a while. I'll call if there's anything new."  
Jax looked at him, slightly surprised at his soft spot for Celi. "Yeah, that's a good idea."


	7. Pain in my Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of the darkness and into the light

White dances around with squares of pale blue curtains that grace a window not showing anything in particular. The lights are brighter than  
the sun and harsher than the truth. Celi sees a figure sitting by the bed, reading the paper. "Hey Tig" she said, recognizing his large hands. She was  
surprised he was there but after what she did to herself, nothing surprised her anymore. Tossing the paper aside, "How you feelin', doll?"  
She stared as the door to the bathroom ahead of her, "I feel like I bashed my head in. (He winces) Sorry."  
"Promise me you won't do that again. I lov-...I mean we all love you. When I see Juice again I'm gonna kick his ass for you."  
She sighed, "If you have to do it, do it for yourself, not for me." Tara came in, Tig exited to call Jax.  
Looking at the chart, Tara said "You were very lucky it wasn't worse. Do you want to talk to someone?"  
Celi looked at the doctor like she was crazy, "What for? I know what I did and why. So I don't need no snob with a degree making notes and judging me for it. Tara sat on the the bed, "Why though?"

"I'm not having this conversation right now."

Tara leaned forward, "But this is serious, you've got to talk to someone."

"And I will. Just not to no shrink, Gemma or you."

Tara wrinkled her face, "What's wrong with me?'

"Nothing, I just don't get that vibe from you."

*knock knock*

Jax came in with Bobby, Tig and Chibs. After Jax kissed Tara, she left and Sack waited outside by the door. They all sat around her. "How you feelin' darlin'?" She decided to spare them the gruesomeness of her previous reply, "Better than I was before. Thanks."

"You had us worried, promise you won't do anything like that ever again.", habitually grabbing his lighter and cigarette before realizing there's no smoking in the hospital. She nodded in agreement, "I promise Jax."

Sack opens the door, "Juice is coming." She says " I don't want to see him." Tig sprang to his feet and flew out the door. Followed by Bobby and Chibs. Jax tells her, "If administration starts asking questions, say you don't remember anything."

"Of course."

"We'll take you to the cabin where you can stay till you feel better."

"Thanks for everything Jax."

"Thank YOU for everything, Celi."

Then he stood up, kissed her on the cheek and left.

**************************

The guys meet Juice at the end of the hall, as his twenty-four hours in the cell had just finished. Tig savors the moment,

"She don't wanna see you."

Juice looked at him questioningly "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said, dipshit." As Tig shoved him hard. Bobby gets between them,  
"Slow down. Yes, Juice. That's what she said."

"But -...."

"But nothing!" Tig yelled. Chibs whispered under clenched teeth, "Outside."

The four of them go outside in back of the hospital past the parking lot. Suddenly Tig hits him with a right. As Juice straightens up,

Tig said "I told you we were going to finish this."

And lands a left to his face. Then a right, left and a punch to the midsection which sends him to the ground. When he stands to  
his feet, he says "More. I deserve it. Please." Tig shakes his head, face filled with anger before lunging at him but Bobby and Chibs block him.  
Chibs says to Juice, "What's the matter wit ya? Any one of us would've loved to have her as our Old Lady,  
and whadda you do?" "Fuck it up! If I live to be a hundred years old, I'll never be able to figure out why she chose you." Tig said, pacing in the background.

Bobby stepped in, "It's not just about you. Celi does a lot for Samcro; she Gemma's assistant, the bartender, the cook. Her food is so good, I've put on weight."

"Yah, we noticed." Chibs said in the background, laughing.

Juice shook his head, "But I didn't make her injure herself."

"No, you didn't. But your words put it all in motion."

"If you'd just been grateful like you should've been, none of this would've happened, jerkoff!."

He had a pained expression on his face as he ran his left hand over the mohawk, "What do I do, Bobby?"

Bobby patted him on the shoulder, "Give her some space. She'll talk to you when she's ready."


	8. Alive &  Kicking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Celi has a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm nearing the end of this story and I know some things for sure. I'll love Juice forever and something always seems impossible, until it's done.

Celi opens her eyes from her afternoon nap. The walnut paneled walls stared back at her nonchalantly. The breezes flowed gently through white linen curtains. Which were sheer but it didn't matter. No one else was around anyway. She'd been here for a couple of days after signing the paperwork at St. Thomas. After picking up something from the house, Juice saw her.

Begging her not to leave he said, "I don't do good being alone."

Sadly she replied, "And right now, I don't do well being with you."

She'd been at the cabin a day or two with various members going to and fro on business related stuff. Regardless who was there, they all learned the hard way not to mention his name to her. For she'd likely start crying in reply. Which hurt them because it was so unlike the sassy, confident woman they've all come to love. She didn't think she'd cry as much as she has. She didn't think she'd cry at all.

She walked into the living room, Sack was cleaning the kitchen while Chibs and Hap played cards. Despite the occasional headaches, some of which resulted from dehydration from crying so much, she felt fine but worn out. They stood to help her as she approached but she waved them off. Chibs asked while shuffling cards,

"Have a good nap?"

"Yeah."

"We got some dinner, wanna eat?", Hap asked her as he motioned toward the kitchen.

"Sure."

Sack brought over a plate of spaghetti and meatballs. The pasta was clumped together, the sauce dry and bland and the meatballs left nothing to be desired. They were better off on the plate than being eaten. After a couple of bites, she said "Where'd you get this?"

Chibs looked at her, "We made it, why?"

She knew bad news was always best delivered with a smile, "It's awful."

Hap nodded, laughing. "Told you."

Chibs wasn't convinced, "What? Come on, now."

Sack was giggling from the kitchen, one look from Hap shut him up. Celi was shaking her head laughing and started to get up. They both ask "What are you doing?"

"I'm gonna cook something" she said.

"No, you're not", Chibs said as he gently sat her back down. "We'll do it."

"Just guide him" Hap said, "Half Sack!"

The wiry blonde guy turned around, startled "Yeah?"

"Celi's gonna tell you what to do."

She began to feel like less of a burden while her mind worked: "What do we have in terms of canned goods?"

He started looking through the cabinets, "....mixed veggies....broth...."

"Do we have any fresh chicken?"

"No. But wait! We have canned!"

"That'll work, what about rice?"

"Yeah."

"Good. You're going to make 'Caldo de Pollo'."

"What?"

"Mexican Chicken Soup. Don't worry, it's one of the easiest things to make. This will be a more condensed version but we'll make do with what we have. I'll take you through it, step by step."

And Sack cooked while Chibs, Hap and Celi played War. Smiling when two of them threw down the same card, having to throw down four following cards in succession saying 'I-de-clare-war.' That was her favorite part. And whoever got the highest card at the end took that pile. Whoever was left holding all the cards won the game but it could take hours.

Sacky sauteed the chicken with onion and garlic to give it flavor. Filling the stockpot with broth and spices. Adding the veggies and chicken while it simmered on medium-low. Celi's stomach growled, "You didn't hear that."

"Yes we did," Hap replied.

Finally, it was ready. The guys yelled for Sack to hurry up. They probably didn't eat the disaster of spaghetti either. He served the bowls and placed crackers on the table. Celi said, "Sack, get the crushed peppers for Hap."

"Okay."

Hap smiled to himself at how she remembered he like his food spicy. "Oy!" Chibs said with mouthful, slapping the table. Celi tastes it, considering it wasn't made from fresh ingredients it wasn't half bad. Like they say, 'Hunger makes a good cook'. "Thanks Sacky", she said. He nodded.

Hap grunted and nodded his approval. For him, spiciness improved everything anyway. While they got second helpings, she went to lay back down again. Because of the wood, the room seemed even much more darker at night. Which made it easier for her to sleep. Which she did. And for the first  
time in a while, without tears.


	9. Stay In My Corner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no end of the rainbow, it turns into itself, infinite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this story. I hope it's been as much of a journey for you as it has been for me. I did learn about myself as well as Celi and Juice. At the start of this story I decided there would be no sex so I could focus on the love. I have other stories for that if you're interested. With all my stuff I may do a tweak here and there. So don't be surprised if the wording is different from the last time you read it. I plan to add more stories as time goes on.
> 
> Au revoir but for a moment.....

She like listening to the breezes as they flowed through the trees. It was as if they were in some private conversation and they didn't care who else listened. Regally oblivious to the human world. The hour was dusk, the sun fleeing from the activities of the day. As she sat on a lounger chair in the back of the cabin, Chibs joined her. When his eyes danced around the scenery before settling, she knew it was a serious conversation.

"When ya first started working in the clubhouse, we didn't make things easy for you, did we?"

She returned his gaze, speaking softly yet directly "No, you didn't. But I get it, I was an outsider. You had to test me to be sure of my loyalty."

He looked off into the forest. "We propositioned you more times than I can count. Trying to convince you of the advantages of being a croweater, being extra 'friendly with the hands'". She remember many a visiting biker grabbing her ass, which they stopped when she'd strike a chair leg with her retractable streel rod. Which she kept chained on her hip. They were quick to learn when it was clear she wouldn't tolerate bullshit. But nevertheless it was a long struggle. 

He continued, "Any other chick that didn't have as much heart would've ran. But YOU didn't. You worked your ass off and stuck it out."

Celi raised her eyebrows and starts laughing, he shakes his head. "I mean, you didn't give up, Christ! You know what I mean."

After the laughter died down, Celi said "What you're trying to say is as I didn't give up on Samcro, don't give up on Juicey." He nodded in agreement, "You're one smart lass. He LOVES you, you know. He really does. I've never seen him care about a woman the way he feels for you. And I know you love him. I can see it in your eyes."

She closed her eyes and sighed, "It's that obvious, huh?" He gave her a look, "A blind man could see how you two feel for each other. Celi shook her head and groaned.

"Wha?"

"That's so corny."

"Nah, 'corny' is you and Juicey Boy spending hours staring at each other. Like two thirteen year olds at a dance."

She scrunched her face at him, "Really?"

He countered, "Ya. Really."

She sat back in the chair and thought for a moment. She had some time to clear her head. "Okay Chibby, get Juice for me."

"I'll let 'im know, he's out front."

"I didn't hear a bike pull up."

"He came in the van."

'Chibs probably planned this on purpose' she thought to herself till the sound of boots on gravel distracted her. She looked at him, a completely different man from the one she saw when they were fighting. His shoulders seemed heavy and weary, like they could hardly hold the man up. His expression sullen and grave.

"Hey" his voice huskier than before, or did she just imagine it?

"Hey."

He pulled the chair closer to her. She said, "I see Tig found you." The bruises on his face and arms still fresh. He nodded, "Yeah, I deserved all of it and more." He waited, eager to listen. She really didn't feel like talking but it needed to be done. Ironic  
that he'd want to listen now but wouldn't when she begged him to listen before.

"I felt like shit when you walked right past me. When you said EVERYTHING at the house. Me? A croweater? You know I can't stand them. My ex? More salt on the wound. But the worst thing was wishing you never met me...." She faced him,  
more tears in her eyes "...(her voice breaking) that hurt me to my soul. I've done nothing to deserve the way you treated me." His eyes were full of tears as well, "You're right, Celi. There's no excuse for all the things I said and did. My fucking stupid pride. I couldn't admit to myself that I should've been grateful and thanked you. But I was an absolute asshole and I've felt like shit ever since. I can't sleep. When I close my eyes all I see is you in the cell. It tore me to pieces. Even more so, realizing my words took you to that dark place." He held her hands, measuring his words "Celi, please. Let me spend the rest of my life making it up to you. So you can spend  
the rest of yours knowing you are loved."

She looked into his eyes, never having heard what he said in the cell. "You love me, Juicey?" Tears rolled down his face, "I never stopped. I wish I never said those awful things to you. I'm saying now what I should've said then, thank you for saving me. I want every chance to prove that I'm worthy of your love for me. Please say you'll love me again."

"Juicey, I couldn't stop loving you even if I wanted to." He leans forward slightly, kissing her. Unbeknownst to them, Chibs checks up on them from inside the house. Looking through the curtains, smiling to himself, then sitting down.

When they finally stop, she says "Let's go home."  
*************************

They come in through the kitchen and she immediately notices the changes. Kitchen was pale yellow before and now is a soft red. In a corner on the counter was a box of meal prep containers. She looked at him, her eyes grateful.  
He moved closer, "I didn't want you having to come back to the same setting of bad memories. So I had the prospects repaint." She touched his arm warmly and went to the living room which was now a soft mint green insteadof white. The sofa had a patterned cover over it, matching the walls. The color had a cool, calming effect on her. She looked by the TV - no replaced gaming unit. "I didn't want to get another one because I don't want it anymore. All I want is you."

They walked to the bedroom, where the bed was covered with rose petals. He undressed her slowly,  
with great gentleness and consideration. She stood feeling as if it were all a dream. They lay down, facing each other, looking into each others'  
eyes exactly the way Chibs said they did. Where once there was pain and doubt was now certainty  
and peace. They held each other's faces with their free hands as if they were holding the world. Because they were each other's world. She careful to avoid his bruises, he careful to avoid hers.

"I love you, Juan Carlos."

"I love you, Celinda.....  
....always."

(end)


End file.
